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  • Writer's picturejodi

My 'What IF'

This Week is 'Reading Week',

'Intersession Week',

'Spring Break'...

whatever you wish to call it.

Me, I'm calling it 'Self Care Week'.

No classes. No shifts at work. I'm Just taking a week.

I have everyday planned out with a sprinkle of something to pamper myself & bring joy.

Dinner & drinks with Friends. Writing Day. Game Night. Facial Day. Spa Day. Hair Salon Day. Lunch with a Girlfriend to round out the week.

I had Ombre Brow Day booked ~ but I canceled that a few weeks ago, I chickened out of that situation.

But the things that I am following through with have ALL taken a back seat in my life, not only since I became a FULL TIME STUDENT. But for quite a while.


Sometimes I cannot believe I am back in school Full Time.

I'm a FULL TIME COLLEGE STUDENT, it's CrAzY!

The experience in itself inspires a comedy for me to write.

Even when I went back to college to be a nurse it wasn't Full Time.

The last time I was a Full Time Student was when I was fresh out of hight school & enrolled in Dental Assisting. Yes, I did that too. That diploma sits unframed, somewhere, in some box.


Out of college I took a job as a Merchandiser for Warner Bros.

I would've approached that job so much differently being the woman that I am today. But, it was being a nurse & witnessing all that I have, that HAS made me the woman that I am today.


MY paths have always been at crossroads & consistently meshing between Health Care & the TV and Film Industry.


I joke to one of my girlfriends all the time that I have the sleeping habits of a college student! Although, sadly, it's not really a joke. I'm awake so late at night that it actually becomes the next day before I find myself getting into bed to go to sleep. Then I'm awake 4 or 5 hours later for a class or a project or because I have some profound discovery about one of my scripts that I have to leap out of bed to write Or I have a shift to work.

It's been SIX entire months and sometimes I still catch myself in a state of disbelief.

It's usually late at night & the house is really quiet & I think... holy fork.

I gave up my really great Full Time job... then a little self doubt knaws at my belly, which turns my mind to a state of WTF am I doing?!

Then

I think,

oh I know,

that's right,

I know what I'm doing,

I'm honouring me.

What I need.

What my soul needs.

I have always put everyone in my life first, before myself, from the time before I was even an adult.

And that is Not a complaint. It's Just A Fact.

And I would do the same all over again.

Time & time again.

Innately my family comes first, in my heart & in my mind. And then I choose it.

My children are absolutely Everything. A piece of my heart is with them wherever they may wander.

Physically. It literally feels as if a piece of my heart is out of my body.

And I wouldn't want it any other way. Because of this profound love that I feel, I am truly blessed.

But now that we're all capable of being separate pieces of a whole, I can chase a little of my dream.

I have the opportunity to take the road less taken.

I have the opportunity to not only pursue the path of "What If",

But I have the opportunity To actually walk the path of "What If".

And Not look back in regret 30 years from now & think "What if?".

Because today, with a content heart, I am actually living My "What IF".


I hope you get to live your 'What If' too.


jj



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