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  • Writer's picturejodi

One Eighty Four

Updated: Jul 3, 2022

184

That is the number of this post.


Although, it's only Day 183...

but I did a double post

one day

in May

while on Victoria Island.

I was super inspired.

And had a moment

worthy of a second post that day.


One Hundred & Eighty Four


184


1 + 8 + 4 = 13


Thirteen is my favourite number.

My lucky number.

My synchronicity.


13


1 + 3 = 4


Four.


Equally breaks down to 2.


Which brings me to TWO of my

favourite humans.


My Kids.


My Adults.


I often sit in disbelief

at the speed in which time

has

zoomed past.


I remember when I was younger

hearing

"one day you'll look back"

or

"time flies"...


We've all been told this.

I've rolled my eyes.

Hell, you probably did too.


BUT IT IS SO TRUE.


The realization

of this fact

always hits me a little harder

on a holiday.


I know I can't be the only one.


I sat outside last night watching

some beautifully grand

fireworks.


And had tears trickle down my cheeks.


Well,

they started as a trickle

then flowed

more like a steady stream.


I sat alone.

And I'm ok with that.

I enjoy my own company ~

how many can truly say that?


Our son is across the country

on the path

of living his best life.

And I love that for him!


Our daughter

in her studio

working on

her art.

Which I love for her!


My husband

is in bed

before 8:30 pm.

Which I don't love for him.

Because MS is a Bitch.

Truly nasty beast.

ANd that my friends

may be a reason that we may decline

your invite to an event.

Because his day almost always

ends early

& some days

it may not even really begin.

And at times

for us

it's too hard

to talk about

or admit the truth

of the burden of MS.

So it's harder to make a commitment

and then back out at the last minute

because to be truthful,

I don't feel everyone really gets it.

And some would be offended by a last minute cancellation.

And I don't have the emotional capacity

to take on

your resentment.

And that's ok for you to not get it,

It's not your journey.


Just the same,

I might not understand your personal struggles.

So I would never judge

any person declining an event.

Or cancelling.

So if we do the same,

don't judge us.

The chances are.

it really has nothing to do with you.

Cast your ego aside

and realize

it's Not

about you.

People usually have much more going on

in their lives

then you even realize.

You never truly know what is going on behind someone else's door.


Whoa,

that went way off into left field!


SO, back to the firework display...


Looking back on memories

of taking the kids

to Canada Day Events.


Sitting on a blanket

looking up at the sky

mesmerized by the bursts of light.


Our daughter plugging her ears to block out the sound.

People looking at her ~ well, judging her.

I'm glad the world has become

at least

a little kinder

to those on the Autism Spectrum.


Life can be cruel enough

without being judged

for the way you were born.


Life is cruel enough

without being judged

period

full stop.













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