top of page
Search
  • Writer's picturejodi

One Twenty One

One hundred and twenty one days of coming here to type out some sort of thought.

Some feeling.

Some idea.

Something.


This journey that I embarked on in January

with this blog

has shown me many things

about myself

and

many. many things about others


Introspection

Observation

Reflection


Words are words

and believe me, I love words

But

Actions...

that's what it's all about

That is the magic

where the change

happens

the growth

the becoming

better


This journey that I started in September

as a full time college student

that prompted this entire blog

has been a winding

bumpy path

a rollercoaster

and one

that I am so grateful that I have taken


And if I'm honest

at times it has been somewhat of a healing process

for so many things

in my life


And I'm learning that some wounds may never heal

And I'm learning where some began


So with that

it's also been somewhat a process of self discovery...

but that in itself is a part of healing


growing


changing


shifting


evolving


And in saying that,

this road has made me very aware of the things that I will no longer apologize for...


such as


My feelings


They are valid.


Always.


Full stop.

End sentence.


It's somewhat remarkable that I finally realize that now

At this point in my life

Isn't this something that I should've always known?


But right now

that's neither here nor there.


From here on in,

I will no longer apologize for my feelings.


Whether you call it

being "sensitive" or "too emotional"

I will never

again

ever

apologize

for feeling.


And on the flip side of that


I will not apologize for

lack of feeling

for being disinterested

for not agreeing

for having reached my capacity

of enduring things that no longer serve me


Or not even necessarily "serve me"

But no longer resonate with me

Perhaps it's that those things never really did

resonate


My frequency has changed

Or

Maybe

it's that

I am finally being true to Me

Who I am

Who I've been

Who I want to be


I will not surround myself with things that make me uncomfortable

With Things that I do not like


I will not hold space for toxic energy


I will not apologize

if I

shut myself off to something

or someone

if that is not for me


Because I have held space for those unwanted things most of my life


So I will not apologize

For closing a door

that I've always held open

because I was being polite

despite my discomfort


I will not apologize for no longer settling

for less than I deserve


I will not apologize

for letting go when I need to



Well actually,

I might apologize

I am Canadian after all













Recent Posts

See All

Comments


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page